“What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
Your love is like the morning cloud,
like the dew that goes early away.”
Lately, I’ve sensed such distraction in my times with the Lord. Without being able to solidly pinpoint why. Discouragement in one area, waiting in another, maybe a combination of the two or something else entirely. Whatever it is, it feels like there’s a block that keeps me from fully settling into His presence and delighting in His Word.
Thinking on it this morning, I prayed, Lord, I want to be wholehearted, but my heart feels torn somehow. Then I asked for grace. Grace to bridge the gap between what I feel and what I want to feel.
Feelings are so fickle. I don’t want my love for my God to be “like the morning cloud, like the dew that goes early away.” I don’t want it to shift and fade and be swept aside based on how I feel in a given moment.
So what do we do when the emotions just aren’t clicking? When we read the Word of God and struggle to truly align our hearts with Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 32:47, “For it is no empty word for you, but your very life”?
Perhaps the key is what is written of in the psalms: meditating on the law of the Lord. Day and night. Reading and studying and reminding ourselves of His Word – of our God’s greatness, His power, and His love for us.
“You are the LORD, You alone. You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host,
the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them;
and You preserve all of them; and the host of heaven worships You.”
“I will go before you
and level the exalted places,
I will break in pieces the doors of bronze
and cut through bars of iron,
I will give you the treasures of darkness
and the hoards in secret places,
that you may know that it is I, the LORD,
the God of Israel, who call you by your name.”
“‘For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”
“Remember this and stand firm…
for I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,
declaring the end from the beginning
and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose.’…
I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;
I have purposed, and I will do it.”
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
…For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come,
nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:31, 38-39
And maybe it won’t always bring this instant emotional high and cause everything to suddenly be clear and right and beautiful to our eyes. We might still sense distraction in our spirit. We may still feel disappointed in our circumstances. Our world could still look like it’s falling apart. But the consistent intake of this truth will begin to pervade our fickle hearts. It will spread throughout and stir hope in those desperate places. It will root itself down deep, dispelling darkness and doubts and insecurities as truth grows and weaves its way through the thoughts and meditations of your heart.
This is crucial regardless of our emotional state. Because our love for God isn’t merely on the surface. It mustn’t be. It needs to be firmly rooted. Rooted in His steadfast, powerful love for us which sent His Son to the cross. His love that bled for us. Ours must be a deep, abiding love that looks to His Word to renew our strength and carry us through difficult seasons. Our hearts and feelings may be fickle and deceptive at times. But love – real love, rooted in the unchanging love of our God – is not.
If you feel your love wavering today, take heart. Even in this, you are not alone. Your God is with you for your good. Always. Loving you unwaveringly. Allow His truth to seep into your heart and fill every space. He will strengthen you, encourage you, and transform you, that you may say as Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:10, “By the grace of God, I am what I am.”
“Let us know, let us press on to know the LORD;
his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
as the spring rains that water the earth.”