“Truly God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.”
I didn’t want to write this today. Not after what I wrote yesterday.
Because today, I’m feeling such discouragement. Disappointment that at first I shook off, but then it grew. Dragging me down and bringing with it a sense that God had failed me…which is quite a shift.
And I don’t want others to see such failure in me. I don’t want you to see my faith falter. Again.
But at least that statement points to where the true shift lies. Because it was not the faithfulness of my God that changed. Or His ability to do wondrous things. Or His good plans for my life.
No, the change was in me.
I want to be someone who bounces back from disappointment immediately, holding fast to that joyful expectation in what God is doing and what He will do.
But sometimes believing is harder than that.
Sometimes it’s a fight, and sometimes I’m just weary of battling it out.
But in verse 26 of this psalm, perhaps I can find hope: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” And perhaps my rest can be found in this, that “I have made the Lord GOD my refuge” (Psalm 73:28).
I’ll get back to joyful expectancy. My strength will be renewed and I’ll get back into that determined fight.
But today, I think my faith might take a softer form.
A quiet resting in the refuge that is my God. Seeking His face, whispering, “I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You” (2 Chronicles 20:12).
Because our God is a compassionate Father. He knows the toll disappointments take on our heart. He understands. He won’t berate us for the struggle, the momentary faltering.
He simply beckons us to draw near once more, softly conveying to us, “Just trust me. I haven’t failed you. I’m still here, and I’m still in this. Rest here, and breathe, and start to believe again.”